||[Dec. 30th, 2003|09:00 pm]
"i'm under attack again my dear, i'm in the way. got no resolutions, no clever anecdotes to say. and still if i yell at the top of my lungs, will it be the same? i'd fly you a flag, i'd bury this pen, into my veins. i want to feel for you tonight, but i won't make you, i won't make you..."|
stupid everything. i was having an ok day, i guess. got up, did some work, went to devons house and practiced for a few hours, it was fun, i got to play around with saras bass and i think we accually made a little progress. that one song sounds really great but i wish my part had a little more variation. i mean, it does sound great, and its like the best we can think of, but on stage it'll look gay. but i'm happy with it, sounds awesome. then we went to the coffee shop in palmyra, had some chai (its like cinnamon soup, but its good). and then we played cards until sara got all impatient, i think she hates me. anyway, it was fun and then i came home and my mom was being a bitch and yea. but anyway
its really bothering me that i might not see megan this vacation, and my present sucks not because i didn't give it to her soon enough and i can't say why because it'll give it away and i was really pissed because i spent so much thought thinking of it. its like one of those things you just get so frustrated about because its no one's fault, but it makes like everything crappy. and then today megan started talking about prom and i felt like puking because i don't know. i just wish i could go. she means so much to me and it just bothers me that nothing ever works out and i feel horrible. but i feel bad about wishing i was there because i want her to have a good time anyway. and thats my story for today.....